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Sunday, 26 December 2010

  • I'm here again...

    It's rather unordinary...


    An unexpected Christmas it was. Mother always prepares food even if no one is coming. She makes a feast.Unexpectadly phone tag was played with our guests that first arrived. Within the hour there was more people than there was room for. 


    Mother and I had little sleep I knocked out at 6 AM the day before that. Mother fell asleep an hr later. My mother woke up like a crazy lady because our food was in the backyard oven. (This was before guests showed up on Xmas)


    I didn't notice her leave since she slept in my bedroom. Guess I'm a heavy sleeper because Dad had yelled at her from my bedroom doorway to get up.


    My Dad of course throughout the day got drunk-ish... So he was arguing with my cousin. First he said "You look just like me! You got that hairstyle from me"Next he said "No, that can't work out, you should cut your hair"My cousin said "Sure. But you have to cut yours too."Dad, "Deal hurry up and cut yours then show me"Cousin "YOU FIRST, don't want you to chicken out after I cut mine"

    My mom.... went behind him with scissors after so much arguing and started snipping. My dad was just joking though. When he heard the snipping...You can guess what happened... 

    Chaos happened afterwards. I couldn't believe my mother. My Dad couldn't believe my mother. No one could believe it. It was sad and funny at the same time. A

    bittersweet moment to remember...

    Seems like everyones Christmas was made.

    Yet I sit here contemplating... 

    I wonder... where did my happiness run off to.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

  • I often don't notice that I sign onto this account.

    How strange.
    I awoke from a funny dream this morning, but instantly forgot it.
    Me and Jacky my former roommate from a long time ago. Even though we weren't close friends,
    I do miss her in a way. Even though this seems like a million years ago. She always thought I was
    the best roommate ever. In a way she was cute, in the ways that she was.

    We were deciding wether to go fishing. Wondering if we needed a fishing license.. The weather turned bad.
    Cold, cloudy, and stormy. We headed downtown where we walked around into shops. I was browsing the racks, and got
    stuck with someones backpack. I was looking for my pencil in it, while the incoherent guy was looking for his backpack.
    I returned it to his friend, and ran out with Jacky. We found a nice little place to have some lunch. It was a very strange dream.
    There was hot chocolate all around.... But there were hamsters or mice in the hot chocolate. Jacky picked up a cup and drank, and ate..

    I was shocked to see that... I'm not sure but these little hamsters/mices looked so real I wasn't sure if it was or if it was just chocolate.
    But in my opinion they had fur... I tried asking the waitress if there was anything on the menu that was vegetarian. She was looking.
    I was starting to get glum. Because the hot chocolate looked nice and warm. I went over to their little fridge looking at the not so warm
    looking salads and contemplating. I looked back over to Jacky... I headed to the back where the bathroom was. More tables, more seats, more people.
    I glanced another time back, and caught a glimpse of someone in green.. In a hat.. In a uniform...

    I looked down... I thought to myself... Was that...? No... It can't be.... It just can't.... There's no way... But...
    I glanced again... Looking for that familiar face... Looking but not seeing... I figured it was just my imagination... My oh so... not 
    fun imagination... I washed up in the bathroom came back out.. Looked... Thinking it couldn't be real, thinking it could have been real.
    And after straining and searching, I saw him... With a black hat. Straight gorgeous hair... Green uniform and black name tag...

     

    This had to have been the weirdest thing.... I couldn't believe it. I wanted to desperately say hello. I wanted to see him once more... ::sigh::
    it was just a dream... Only a dream.. And sadly. I had to wake from this dream.

     

    Carol says "stop." no more reminiscing. You can't.

    I don't, I say.

    But I can never help that this will always be on my mind. The memory that is never forgotten.  

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

  • Free as a butterfly

    Hmmm. There is something that I miss. I miss that in my last two relationships nobody demanded for me to do anything. I liked that. It compares to the feeling of being free. I loved that. I love independence from people. I loved him so much. He let me have that freedom, even though it also sometimes made me feel alone. But even so, he was there. Even to this day, I can't help but remember about my feelings and smile, and miss, and want those moments. He never demanded I do anything, and if he did he did it jokingly. I liked it, because most of the time I felt so happy.

    I don't know how I feel right now.... I do know that I miss feeling free and happy.
    .
    .
    .

    [WARNING: IF YOU CONTINUE READING IT'S JUST A HUGE BORING RANT]

    My friends here, they keep me company, but I also feel hurt sometimes. I'm not one to take jokes so well. I'm too gullible for them. I'll believe anything, it's bad that I'm saying this here. But at the same time, okay because only few really know me in person.

    I know my friends though don't really mean it. When they say things that are sexist, they're mostly just joking. Even so, it will hurt.

    Even though they're my friends, I'll still feel lonely, and out of the loop most of the time. It takes me forever to understand jokes also... My flaw..

    Miss you even now, when it is wrong. But who is to know...

    Sometimes I want to disappear... I wish it was easy. Maybe it is... Move somewhere where no one knows you and start over.... But that doesn't really work.

    I wanted to be able to see you someday. I really wanted to be there... But I don't think I will ever be able to.
    Currently
    She Watched the Sky
    By A Skylit Drive
    see related

MissLittleItaly

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    • Name: LittleMissItaly
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/21/2008

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